I woke up this morning with no night terrors or nightmares. Woohoo! I have dealt with trauma in the form of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse throughout my entire childhood and some of my adult life. I've been to behavioral health specialists and have since been diagnosed with PTSD and major anxiety disorder because of this. It's always a relief to not wake up shaking and scared based upon a flashback or nightmare that's related to what I endured. I am medicated so the nightmares/night tremors don't happen every night, but I definitely feel more rested, at the very least, when I have a night like last night. It's such a relief. Now in my 40s, I have other issues (health and legal issues) that have come my way that I'm dealing with at this stage of my life. Sometimes the stress of my present existence is just so much. And when that gets added to all the past issues; Wowza! It's almost too much to bear. I have never been suicidal but damn, the days that feel overwhelming feel so heavy. Almost like I have a constant elephant on my back. No, an elephant is not a heavy enough animal, and honestly doesn't describe the weight I feel on my shoulders any given day. It's more like a Blue Whale that I'm carrying.  But, every day I tell myself positive affirmations. Everything, I've endured I've survived. My life, as everyone else who has ever felt that their life as they knew it was going to stop or end, will go on. Life just keeps trodding forward. I read a quote recently, and I think it was on Facebook or Pinterest, "So far you've survived 100% of your worst days. You're doing great." The byline said Anonymous so if there is someone specific that created that quote, I thank you. I live like this; when the stuff that you're experiencing any given day seems like it's too much and you truly feel like they're insurmountable, tell yourself you're doing the best you can. Take things one day at a time. It's easier said than done, I know. Just keep being good to yourself and whatever progress gets done, even if they're baby steps, is great.